Even the most organized people cannot prepare for what their life will be like after giving birth to a child. They can buy up all the books on parenting, study the experiences of friends and family, rummage through their memories, and remember their childhood. But the gap between such ideas and reality is measured in light-years.
Parents-to-be do not know what their children will be like and how a child can transform your life. The appearance of a child is one of the most sudden and dramatic changes in the life of an adult. So, how do children affect the lives of mothers and fathers, and what is the most difficult about being a parent?
1. The loss of independence
Just imagine that you were just a completely independent person. You lived as you wanted and did what you wanted. And suddenly you became a parent and completely disconnected from the rhythms of normal adult life. Psychologists consider the first years of parenthood to be the most unhappy in a person’s life. These are the years spent “in the bunker”, rather short to the whole life, but often seemingly endless. The independence that parents once took for granted simply disappears.
2. The lack of sleep
Of all the suffering of young parents, lack of sleep is the most unpleasant thing. But most parents-to-be, no matter how much they are warned, even have no idea about it until their first child appears.
3. Irritability
Chronic sleep deprivation increases irritability. Young parents cannot resist the temptation to scream and break loose. Nothing upsets moms and dads more than similar behavior towards the weakest and most defenseless creatures in the world. However, this is how everyone behaves.
4. Inability to cope with the child
The modern child is an excess of desires in the absence of organization. The extravagance of children’s desires and actions, their boundless energy become a real threat to the orderly life of parents. The hardest part about being a parent is putting up with the need to be strict with their children.
5. Unhappy marriage
Studies show that parents are not at all happier than childless spouses, and often significantly less happy. Before children were born, partners believed that children strengthened the family. It seemed to them that having a child would strengthen relationships, make them more meaningful and lasting. But conflicts between such spouses arise more often. Children cause more fights than any other topic.
6. Lack of privacy
The amount of time that partners can spend alone is shrinking – opportunities for romantic evening dates are dwindling. There is no more time for parents to spend together enjoying each other.
7. Unfulfilled hopes
It is unfair to demand happiness from a child. Expectations turn children into a kind of “antidepressant” and make parents more dependent on children than children on their parents.
Final thoughts
Having a kid is always about creating new, endlessly repetitive responsibilities and new norms. But they also liberate parents from the usual rut along which their lives flowed. That is why being a parent is extremely difficult and cool at the same time.
